Search for a Church

Matt & I left our home church about 6 weeks ago, not because we wanted to but because we felt like we had to. We had both attended the church our whole lives, Matt for 24 years and I for 20. I am a 6th generation in the church and my family made up most of the founding members. We were there every time the doors were open, and since we both had keys, we were there a lot of the time when no one else was. The people there are like my family, and most of them actually are. Matt & I were dedicated as babies there, prayed the Sinner's Prayer for the first time there, were baptized in water, filled with the Holy Spirit, and married there. You get the point....it was home away from home.

So here we are, completely outside of our comfort zone, searching for a new church to call home. A new body of believers to call family. A new place to worship in communion with others. I would like to insert here that if you haven't ever looked for a new church, it's not very easy. Some people told us that they thought we should look around and visit as many churches as we can. I, now having been in that position, could not disagree more. Every Sunday I feel uncomfortable and like an outsider. I just want to be a part of a family again where I feel comfortable to worship however I choose. We haven't found that place yet.

In our search for a new church, we've encountered many people who mean well and have a great heart, but are very odd. Here are a few examples:

• 3rd Sunday visiting churches, my cousin Brandon & his wife Jessi are with us:
  
  We walk into the foyer of the church where literally about 5 people approach us at once to greet us. Five people may not seem like a lot of people, but when you're new to a church and the first thing you see is a group of people, smiling overly big, walking towards you, it's a little nerve racking.
  
  Immediately we are asked if we would like to fill out visitor card., Matt & Jessi walk over to the information booth to do so while Brandon & I (the 2 most awkward people on earth) are left standing alone in the middle of the foyer. A women approaches Brandon, (**I'll note here that he's bald) says hello and tells him her name, to which he responds with his name. The rest of the conversation went something like this:
  Strange women: "You're the Brandon I've been praying for!"
  Brandon: "I am?"
  Strange woman: "Yes! I've been praying for a man named Brandon with cancer!"
  Brandon: "Um, no. I'm not him. I don't have cancer."
  Strange woman: "Oh, you don't? Well, I just figured with your name being Brandon and you having a bald head that you were him. Okay, well, welcome to the church anyhow."
  
  Seriously????
  
  We walk into the sanctuary and sit down. Service starts a few minutes later and it begins with people greeting one another. About 10 different people greet us this time, which is so overwhelming. Service progresses and it's almost time for the pastor to preach the sermon when, they have ANOTHER time of greeting each other...?? So strange. More people come and say hello to us and at this point my cheeks are hurting from smiling so much. The pastor greets everyone, especially the new visitors, and then calls all 4 of us out by name and everyone in the sanctuary turns around to stare at us. It was incredibly uncomfortable for all of us.
  
  While the pastor is preaching the sermon, an elderly lady behind me.....I am not lying.....begins playing with my hair. Yes, the hair attached to my head. And then leans forward and whispers in my ear: "You have the most beautiful hair." While a very nice compliment, it could have been said without her having to touch it first.
  
  Service is over, we are walking out of the sanctuary when the pastor and his wife stop the 4 of us to talk. They proceed to talk for 15 minutes about the people in the church, the "moral failures" of the former pastors, the old churches they've pastored and why things didn't work out, and the entire conversation was so completely inappropriate that we practically ran out of the church as soon as we could. Needless to say, we won't be going back there.

• 6th week visiting churches:
  
  Matt & I walk into the foyer of the church where their greeting committee encircled about us and forced us to write our names on name tags that said, "GUEST--->> KATIE :)" which we were supposed to wear for the entire service.....I'm sure you guessed that as soon as we walked away I put them in my purse. About 5 people followed us through the foyer, greeting us and giving us little brochures, fliers, and bulletins, until we finally escaped into the sanctuary. Once inside, we sat down hoping to be left alone, which lasted for about 30 seconds. People came to greet us and once they had left, an elderly lady behind me....for the second time, I am not lying.....began stroking my hair and telling me how pretty it is. STOP TOUCHING ME! While I appreciate the compliment, personal space is very important to me and I only allow a certain number of select people to touch me and a random stranger is not one of them. After the service was over, we tried to escape quickly but the greeting committee caught us and wanted to know where we were from. We told them we live in Morrilton to which one man said, "Well that's too bad. That's a little far for us but normally if a visitor lives here in town, we'll stop by their house to meet with them for a little while and make them feel more welcome at our church." Thank goodness we don't live in Conway.

And so the search continues. We've found 1 church that has stood out from the others and has most of the qualities we are looking for in a good church. We've attended there for 2 weeks and no one has bombarded us with questions, touched my hair, or wanted to know our address so they could come visit. It's looking pretty good right now :). Hopefully soon we'll be able to settle down at a church, get plugged in, and make new friends. Until then......